Should you have a send-off at your wedding

A lot of wedding traditions are optional now and frankly, to some of them I say good riddance. And as someone who has been to a lot of weddings, I think traditions work best when they feel like an enhancement to the celebration and not something the couple added just because that’s what lots of other people do.

But here’s a tradition I think is really worth considering for nearly any wedding. And by worth considering, I mean, I think you should do one. Not because tradition says so, but because it gives your day a real nice ending.

And that is: The send-off.

Weddings have a funny way of drifting at the end. Some people start leaving. The guests with kids at home or the folks that don’t want to stay up that late are the usual group that hit the road early. Others wonder, is it over? Is it time to leave? Would it be rude if we left, now? Do you think the caterer still has any more pork chops? (That last one might just be me). But without a clear ending, without a send-off, the night can just sort of taper off instead of landing.

But you add to the night a send-off, and that changes everything. For you, it’s nice because it gives everyone one last moment to gather around you. It creates a little burst of energy right at the end. And from a photography standpoint, it’s nice for me because it gives the images, the story I’m trying to tell, a real satisfying way to wrap it all, rather than a story that just stopped mid-sentence.

If you think, yeah but what about the afterparty or what about my group of friends that still want to dance and the DJ said he’ll stick around because he thinks my maid of honor is cute. Here’s a little wedding secret. Your send-off does not have to happen at the literal end of the night. Nothing wrong with staging an exit. Get everyone lined up, bust out the sparklers, say goodbye to the lightweights who won’t stick around, drive around the block and then come on back for more fun times.

That releases anyone that needs to go but has been polite enough to say. It suggests “the night is over” for anyone that wants the night to be over. And, it makes a really nice visual ending to the story of your day. That’s the part I like.

So yes, I’m in favor of the send-off tradition.

It doesn’t have to be elaborate. It doesn’t have to involve fireworks or a vintage car or a tunnel of 200 people with sparklers, although those are real nice and I keep trying to talk couples into leaving by helicopter and so far no takers. It doesn’t need to be elaborate, it just needs to feel like a real ending.

You have spent so much time planning a day where it all plays out perfectly. It deserves a final scene.